:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
