He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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