Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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