I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
