Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
