Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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