She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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