At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
