I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
