You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
