Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
youre lurking in front of me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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