i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
