oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Couch. On fire.
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