Please, let me fuck your mom
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
