Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian

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  (415): i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian http://tfl.nu/vq1a
  Replies (8) Good night (1997) Bad night (941)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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  (678): Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol. http://tfl.nu/nnbo
  Replies (7) Good night (1146) Bad night (2252)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.

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  (715): Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel. http://tfl.nu/yi2m
  Replies (15) Good night (3305) Bad night (1033)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive

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  (317): my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive http://tfl.nu/067t
  Replies (31) Good night (5902) Bad night (1395)
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  (631): View more from New York

  ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night

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  (631): ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night http://tfl.nu/n1l5
  Replies (9) Good night (5059) Bad night (901)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

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  (617): gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist. http://tfl.nu/2uj6
  Replies (35) Good night (1302) Bad night (4493)
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  (619): View more from California

  definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius

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  (619): definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius http://tfl.nu/ay4s
  Replies (25) Good night (2969) Bad night (930)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.

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  (336): I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat. http://tfl.nu/ctm6
  Replies (5) Good night (1783) Bad night (564)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures

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  (416): But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures http://tfl.nu/emrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1557) Bad night (455)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told you I would

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend

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  (931): I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me. (480): I told you I would (931): I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend http://tfl.nu/o3w2
  Replies (7) Good night (2282) Bad night (635)
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  (626): View more from California

  I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.

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  (626): I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime. http://tfl.nu/zedi
  Replies (9) Good night (2052) Bad night (558)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one

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  (406): I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one http://tfl.nu/6xky
  Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (440)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."

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  (817): one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog." http://tfl.nu/q8wu
  Replies (8) Good night (450) Bad night (1003)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF

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  (267): he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment (267): HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF http://tfl.nu/xvhl
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (463)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.

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  (207): If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too. http://tfl.nu/gosa
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (724)

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