i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
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If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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