We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
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So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?