I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect