Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
