they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
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he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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