apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
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I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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