I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Come back. Shots need mouths.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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