the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
