she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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