You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize