I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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