walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
