i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
