Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
