My liver just broke up with me...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
love makes seman taste better
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.