Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME