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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."

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• (818): View more from California

  Its about making memories worth repressing

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.

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• (949): View more from California

  Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?

  (941): View more from Florida

  You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.

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