I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough