i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?