Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
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He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.