I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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