Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
