the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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