Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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