Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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