Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
What drink are we having for lunch?
This is classic penis vs brain.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
