It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
