Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize