either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
