I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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