That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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