He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
