meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The best revenge is premature balding
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
