Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
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Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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