I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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