I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You ruined the universe
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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