He is such a slut. More and more my type.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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