i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
