I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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