Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
