Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
