do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
