I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize