Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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