I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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