he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
