Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
