I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Heβs over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo heβs listed as free food #5
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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