a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
