very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
