Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
