Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize